Day - what are we at 26, 27...

Dante's inferno starts something like this: In the middle of the road of my life I awoke as if in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost.
Well here it is the middle - and these are not the gate of hell that I have found with the foreboding sign ***Abandon hope all ye who enter here ***

No instead today I have been confronted by a sea of possibilities. Really - literally - flooded!!!!
This guy at work (Mike S.) and I have had this odd conversation about possibility and intention and yes happiness as the result of attitude for the last 4 weeks - not taking life too seriously - letting go of guilt - setting goals but holding them loosely. Then a movie pop-ed up on Netflix from Sunday:
http://youtu.be/JcMQmuvzPmI
Reminding me of a double rainbow and this gift of the golden secret.
Why am I in this odd job while I appear to be simply waiting for my life to restart? Why doing the monotonous job of testing software for someone elses gain? Why sitting within this pit of anxiety - looking at the dark wood once again (Corporate America-abandon hope indeed)?
Why when faced with this does something seemingly random turn into this flood of possibility.

the way is not lost
the woods are not dark
this may be the middle and still there is so much more
I (we) need not abandon hope - grace is still here in the ridiculousness of feet and duckbilled platypus and taro roots and anything else that seems impossible and yet simply is - like love, forgiveness, joy, passion, hope, dreams, imagination, tomorrow, possibilities, random kindness, puppies, sun sets, bumble bees ... what ever you need to smile.

 

Day 25 - Prayer

Karen - Chattanooga

Prayer:
Filtered through life
the joy
the passion
the wonder
the knowing
I pray
Gd - love me
I am not proud that I pray this for myself. I am not proud that I pray so that I can love you, love life, love others, love the world, love love

It is hard sometimes this place that we are called to serve.

I pray with empty thoughts to hear
I pray with smooth intentions to act
I pray that always compassion
remind me not to blame on malice that which can be easily explained by ignorance.
I am ignorant too - speak Gd
I pray

Day in between days - a cloud of witnesses

Karen - somewhere near Northbrook

It was an explosion of pent-up-ness. A perfect arc of lemon ice streaming not out the window but back into the car.
A spoon had gotten caught and a small shower of sticky goodness refused to be released into the wild of the expressway. In all honesty at 65 mph  probably headed for the tires and the car doors.

What possessed me to try to toss it out the window?

I was in that space of needing to let go of something and the half eaten Culvers Lemon Ice seemed a better choice than the map of my life I was trying to sort through. I opened the window to dump and just as the cup met the rim of the glass I noticed the spoon sticking beyond - still in the car.

Later that evening as we drove we found gooey stuff - everywhere.
Gravity and wind disbursement are amazing things. They carried what I thought I was getting rid of right back into the car. They carried everything back inside where they must be dealt with. With each little goopy glop I find I pray to remember. My life will not change unless I change it.
My choices will not go away unless I make different ones.
My desires, no matter how sincere will not live without guidance and initiation.

But if I continue to look a small cloud of witnesses (this one on the front windshield) may even show forth from the aftermath of a failed attempt to simply release without preparation. A reminder that Gd is still present watching and waiting and praying, perhaps, for me.

How long will I be reminded of this ill-conceived action -
little drops of gooey are found everyday my friends ...
... everyday.

Day 23 - Burning away to burn brighter

Karen - Chattanooga

What is it in life that must be burned away.
Held so tightly to the ground that the only way to free up the earth for new growth is to scourge what is above.
When life burned away my hope I did not die -
I climbed to find the source - I sought out the what and why of my grief and loss.
Where did this flame start that cut so neatly into my well tended field of life.

Ah -
and what I found -
what sages have suggested from the start
The source of the flame was love.

Had love not found me the field would never have been planted
Had love not found me the flame would never have been able to reap its harvest
Had love not found me I would not have sought out the source of that flame
to look blinded by light into the face of love - of Gd and weep.

What will the field grow - new shoots come forth - some have already gone the way of the sickle.

Come love - I see your face more clearly now for having endured the flame
Come love - I know you are not the well ordered candles
Come love - I know you leap for life not joy or sorrow
Come love - be in y breast that I might live within you always.
 

Day 21 / 22 - Through the eyes of a child

Chicago - Betsy and her teacher - students

In Chicago on a Sunday morning during the school year. Betsy Peterson can be found teaching 9-12 year old children what she knows of Gd. In this faith a traditional ritual of communion is celebrated weekly as a promise - to love, to be with, to give grace.










What does love look like - a promise fulfilled, a gift of hope, the impossible, the sheerness of joy overflowing. All of these bespeak Gd.



And as is true for most good relationships, they teach her as well. 

"The most crazy making child did a big cross and at the center wrote the word hope. I could have wept for joy. He also did a candle - the Paschal candle I think, but wrote the word love."

God is Love - let heaven adore ...