As I wait for some part of me to shift into a new place I am aware that nothing will happen unless I move. As I sit still and think good thoughts and move carefully around the layers of the under the parts of my life I have not embraced for some time I think - why would I want to shift that piece of my life - it seems just fine. As I respond to the nagging voices in my head saying things like "really you need to do something differently?" I side step and turn on the TV to watch Chopped just like last night. 

But something has changed in me and perhaps the biggest change is I am willing to see that change.

This is different. Someone said no to me and I did not become a weeping ball of insecurities, someone said maybe and then no and I did not stop and wonder why my entire life was falling apart, someone said yes and while I still wonder why I am stepping forward.

Today I write because I can write.

Tomorrow I will paint because I can paint.

The next day I will learn because I love to learn.

After that I will sing because there is nothing in this world that makes my heart happier.

Even as I wait, even as I wonder if I can change if the dust bunnies can be found and removed, I know that this is mine to do NOW, embrace the seeker I have always been.