Day 34 - Making choices

Karen - 50 days - Eastern US


Do 50 days really have to be in order?
Is there magic mastery mystery in concentrating a question?


At some point I thought that life observed in the crucible of time, life compacted by need into a short stretch, might have a desired effect of making me think more about important issues.




The challenge - having thought more about important issues I found that being on the road for 14 of the last 18 days has hampered my ability to reflect on much besides how the people I am with today are - which upon further reflection may be the point of any life well lived anyway.



Call -
To be with two amazingly in love people as they celebrate publicly a commitment to one another - yeah Erin and Josh
To enjoy the company of friends and family as we traveled across the eastern states.
To be in the presence of courage, kindness, reflection and love with Meta and Susan.
To let go of the comfort of a sure job for the open life of ministry - again.
To enjoy the moments left with family taken slowly away by memory loss.
To be thrown into prayer when delayed by an accident.
To revel in the sheer joy of a 18 month old child.
To remember, to reconnect, to retreat, to be with - another.

To whom am I responsible. To those in front of me and to myself.

So 50 days
- delayed but not forgotten.




The next 15 will be chosen by the want of a story that needs to be told. Responsible to the call of life that must be shown.

Included here are some views from our trips.

Day 33 - What we meet on the road up hill...

Karen / Pam / Parker - Chattanooga [Poop Hill]
(Really Parker and Pam)

When we got little Parkery Parker - when she was a mere 8 weeks old and so small she could not get up one step - she set her sights on the hill behind our place as her "business" go to. Hence the moniker 'poop hill.' It is steep and essentially goes up into the woods / mountain behind us. There sit the requisite old car, the beaten up lawn chairs, a discarded plastic cup from Popeye's and pieces of hose (with no spout anywhere in sight).

We thought it cute, then annoying, then good for us, this mandatory exercise 3-4 times a day. It taught us to wear good shoes, what our apartment looks like from the top and how easy it is to see in our windows from 2-stories up. We did not know it was... well... dangerous.


We had heard that there were snakes - our friend Doris laughed and told us to wear boots... really we laughed back and thought - oh sure there are - not around people of Gd.

Then Pam came in and said the dreaded word - I saw..

we looked ...

Holy - %&)@$^#*

Yes friends a copperhead - pit viper - poisonous snake and ugly neighbor - right here is Chattanooga - YIKES.

Apparently they LIKE the rocks and the debris and the sun.

Walks up poop hill are temporarily stopped. And by temporarily I mean I will no longer walk up there but Pam might and Parker will plead...

 

Day 32 - Responsible, perhaps an answer

Karen - Chattanooga

A thin lines   
- draws
- sorts
- contains
- separates

If I believe in Gd

If I serve community / youth / homeless / humanity ...

Who holds me responsible to that service?

Who holds me to having some answers?

What thin line drew my heart closed...
... what thin line cracks it open again
         if I believe in LOVE
         if I serve the TABLE
            I am responsible to the INVITATION
 

Day 31 - Spirit is color

Karen - Chattanooga

Line distract from the whole
The whole distracts from the lines

To be both is to be aware
      of when
      of how
      of why
      of life       of love

To be both is not an answer
      it is simply a way

Enjoy the chaos of this moment - too

Day 30 - In a time of great rain

Karen - Lookout Mountain

The rain started about January in Tennessee and has not stopped since. The hills, mountains, that I now call my home have baptized every part of me. New green leaves against black, water drenched tree trunks, purple trumpet flowers and azaleas, the yellowing of euonymus against lichen, and moss, and lime stone - in my weariness of grey sky's, my soul leaps forward at the sight of these moments of beauty.

Stopping to let bikers pass, this flood of water appeared between the leaves. The sound would have let us know to look - but safely behind closed windows we stopped only for humanity and then paused in awe of this. The impossible, or the probable, the need to remember the desire to be that free, the will to let loose and tumble - all of that in the seconds it takes to rush past.


People here say it has never rained so much. I wonder if this is Gd's gift to me.

Wash free
Wash free
Wash free
Let the waters of salvation find you and wash free any doubt that Gd is here and remains in love with the love that is within her creation. Baptize me southern rain not to free me from sin but to remind me that even that which is broken can be used by the hand of Gd. Baptize me rain from a trembling heaven to give back to my soul a promise
- it does not matter what I believe in but that I have faith.
- it does not matter what or who I love but that I love
- it does not matter what I as long as I act in compassion and serve
- I am responsible to life : nothing more and nothing less. Baptize me - flood of rain. Save my soul. Fill me with the waters of life, of possibility, or promise.

Day 29 - the tallest thing on the horizon

Carol Myers & Karen - Chicago (a reminder of a different time)

 

Tall buildings reach for the sky. I have heard that you can tell through architecture what people value most - standing stones of Ireland bespeak a wonder of nature, the pyramids of ancient societies proclaimed the dominion of pharaoh or ruler, tall stretched steeples reminded us of Gd and now - now building that house commerce and living remind us where and with whom we place power and importance.

No longer the unknown, the far off king or even the holy, we are the objects of our own fascination.

There was a time when I would have railed against this. In a disgusted tone pointed this out at some poignant place in a conversation. But today I wonder.
The fog shrouds us in a cool glance. The suns rise inspires the rush of a horizon, possibility a waits, a new day is here, the gate to the harbor empty and the waters calm.
We have dominated the land and the earth has bends to our desires.

So ... let us be fascinated by our power enough to serve and be responsible to what we have created. This fog is not ours but the buildings are. The sunrise and its amalgam of chemicals not fully ours still its beauty is in part because of our living.

How will we work to save both.

Now that is a question for minds that will dream.

Day 28 - To whom

Karen - the world

Responsibility feels like the weight of the whole world

Responsible             To whom or what:
Pick up                    Family
Recycle                   Friends
Close the door         Community
Put down the seat    Homeless
Be informed            Women
Cook meals             Lesbians
Listen                      Gay
Ask questions         Trans
Make signs             Children
Sing                        Poor
Remember              Rich
Be with                   World
Create                     Earth
Clean up                 Pets
Write                      Animals
Teach                      Plants
Chant                      Environment
Spin                        Education
Sew                        Health care
Call                        Justice
Walk                      Equal rights
Petition                  Diversity
Organize                Freedom
Read                      Security
Garden                   Partner
Shop                      Memory
Give                       Future
Ride