Day 20 - Simple gifts

Sue Dunmore - Chicago

My sister is an amazing artist. After this weeks events - terrifying, numbing, aggravating, and surprise-less. At a vigil she remembered these words:
Tis a gift                        Tis a gift to be simple                               Tis a gift to be free

Yes my sister - what else can we be called to in this world than to remain free.

Day 19 - What am I called to do

Karen - Lookout Mountain

It took a moment - my gut knew it first - still I did not stop or turn around, I drove on.

It was a good day. Beautiful sky. A cool breeze. I was wondering about this place with so much pollen that it collects as a fine dust of yellowing over everything even the pools of water after a hard rain. Parkery Parker in the back seat (our chewing machine - er - puppy), we were headed home up the mountain - a swervey curvy mess of a great ride. In my little Fiat I like to imagine myself part of an English spy film as I drive up at night.

But there in the middle of the road - you know already don't you - an animal. It could have been anything, it was brown, nondescript, long, mostly it was dead. I hate that, the sight and feel of seeing an animal killed by a car. I heard once that animals dieing this way is a clear sign that we humans had taken up too much of the planet.

I drove on. ... What should I do???
I drove on. ... What could I, me only me, do???
I drove on. ... What about the traffic if I went back???I drove on. ... What would I do with the body - this little life that was someones pet?
I drove on. ... What should I do about telling - someone - about this death?
I drove on. ... What if the person doesn't know and worries - unsure forever what had happened?
I drove on. ... What if I can't do it, what if I can't pick up ...
I drove on. ... What would I want if it was my pet???
I drove on. ... and then I turned around.

A reusable grocery bag from trade show in hand I did the only thing I would want from someone else
that saw Roxanne, or Max, or Dylan, or Bogart, or Icke, or Leo, or Grey Max, or Ruppert, or Simon, or Edju, or Kitten, or Suki, or Pie, or little Parkery Parker to do - I went back down the mountain and picked her up. Walking back to the car I waved down someone passing into a nearby drive way and asked - Did they own a cat? Yes. One had been killed - did they...? No.

So it was mine to lay this body down. I went into the woods (this is a mountain after all) and covered her as best possible. I said goodbye with a tear (odd really this life was not mine to mourn) and a prayer. It felt impossible really to know what should be done, but there was nothing else to do.

So I went back to the car and Parkery Parker.
I drove on. ...

Day 17 & 18 - Turn the page

Karen - Chattanooga, TN

The new page - the turned corner - the unexpected surprise.

What is scarier than a blank slate.
Into a desert.
The landscape looks barren.
The sun hot
The wind relentless

Still between the sand dunes
I wonder what could be found.
Any dreams, any fear, any odd and absent thoughts can be found in the grainy mess of too much sweat and too little shade. My soul.

When I left
When I was left
I abandoned hope and began instead to rely on faith
I let go of any trifle and sought instead the hard core of who I am, who I will be with Gd... alone.

To serve

To serve this world

To serve Gd

The blank page
Paint on me - creator
Draw your impossible amazing isness
Remind me of your love in my bones
Sing to me in that soft raucous nature of truth

I will no longer be held within a box of who others think Gd is or how we serve the world the best.
I will be what I am called to be by embracing who I am.
A blank page - terrifying with its potential.

Day 16 - What the bush reveals

Chattanooga - Karen Mooney & Pam Rumancik

Today starts the next part of this journey, I move from - What do I believe to  - Who do I serve.

Service - such a dicey thing.
I always remember this story from my grandfather. Traveling/working in the late 1940's he moved around the world collecting game birds for release here in the US. When working in India he found himself enraged by the sight of modern tractors tilling the land. As the sun shone through one hundred years of top soil he could only shake his head. The farmer and workers standing next to him were simply stunned into silence. The Peace Corp was helping to modernize India, to bring them into a place where they could feed their population. They were bringing what everyone wants - progress. They were bringing what we believe everyone wants - right?

I have learned that sometimes I "serve" others to feel better about the choices I have made for myself.
Sometimes my service is not desired or is not what is needed. Often I do not think to stop and ask that simple question - what would help?
Sometimes I serve to get away from my own fear of standing still within the ambiguity of my life.

Who do I serve?
Who do I wish to serve?

Like this bush cut in half to get it out of the way of cars picking up cheep fast food I wonder what I will find inside the reality of serving.
What am I called to that will be cut back to allow shameless consumption?
What am I called to that will be revealed only when the obnoxious occurs?

Day 15 - the first step to service may be in silence.



Corey Palmer - Chicago : The Ortha nan Gaidheal

The first step may be to clear my mind - of those things that distract, raw and judge. To be able to serve not to full fill what I want or need but to find and do what is needed by others.

 

I weave a silence onto my lips.
I weave a silence into my mind.
I weave a silence within my heart.
I close my ears to distractions.
I close my eyes to attractions.
I close my heart to temptations.

Calm me, O Lord, as you stilled the storm.
Still me, O Lord, keep me from harm.
Let all tumult within me cease.
Enfold me, Lord, in your peace.

--The Ortha nan Gaidheal