Out Beyond - Not just an idea

Dwell in Possibility: Out Beyond Ideas of Wrong and Right             by Pam Rumancik

I grew up Roman Catholic and that still informs some part of who I am in the world. While having let go of the theology, I know that my passion for justice, my love of ritual, and my appreciation for the sacred otherness of life have their roots in this heritage.

The teachings of a wandering Jewish Rabbi named Jesus deeply resonate with my understanding and experience of ultimate reality.

Love your neighbor as yourself, turn the other cheek, welcome the stranger – these lessons live deep in my bones.   I do not claim the label of “recovering Catholic” because I own and cherish much of what I experienced and absorbed growing up.

And yet…there is also a shadow side to this legacy I carry with me.

I grew up believing that there was a “right” way to do things; a “right” way to be and sometimes find that "rightness" hard to relinquish.  While having goals and ideals are necessary and good – getting stuck in rightness, or righteousness, can be unproductive and definitely at odds with the Unitarian Universalist faith which I espouse and love.

Within the UU tradition our highest commitment is to being in covenantal relationship with one another.  We do not hold onto a dogma or doctrine that everyone has to believe. We affirm community as a place of spiritual and personal growth; a place where relationship is valued above rightness because we trust that honest, respectful dialogue will bring forth deeper truths than can be found by a single person alone.

We are committed to respecting the individual and unique gifts of every person and staying in relationship despite the myriad viewpoints that are brought into the conversation.

Being right conflicts with a commitment to being in right relationship. Sometimes, as “come-inners” to this beautiful faith of relationality, we bring with us our old habits of righteousness; our old conviction that there is the right way – and we’ve got it. I call this my “catholic” monster because it rears its ugly head and roars at me that there is a right way and other people should be following it.

This is a profound spiritual practice for me – recognizing the snarl of that monster and then relegating it to the past where it belongs. It no longer serves me or how I want to be in the world.

My commitment – my highest value – is to healthy and respectful covenantal relationship; it is to the belief that we are far more together – wiser, kinder, stronger -  than we can ever be alone;  it is that a group of thoughtful seekers of truth and justice will always be the world’s best hope for creating a just and sustainable future.

So while I may have very strong opinions – about reproductive health, too big to fail banks, fracking or gun control – my highest commitment is to remaining in open and respectful dialogue with my community and the world around me. Deciding I am right shuts down any way forward into new, creative, or synergistic solutions for the future.

Three centuries ago Universalist Hosea Ballou wrote: “If we agree in love, there is no disagreement that can do us any injury, but if we do not, no other agreement can do us any good.”

Let us agree in love to stay in conversation – to find a third way forward when right and wrong no longer serve.

Out beyond ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. 

 When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. 

 Ideas, language, and even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense. 

 ~Rumi